


Love Letter

by peculiarsushi



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, First Love, Heartbreak, High School, M/M, Sacrifice, dying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:40:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22405840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peculiarsushi/pseuds/peculiarsushi
Summary: Love letters sometimes mean the beginning of a story, sometimes it's a means to an end.
Relationships: Lee Hoseok | Wonho/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	Love Letter

There’s this guy. Son Hyunwoo. Even his name sounds so perfect as it grazes past my lips. I’ve been liking him in the shadows for about 3 years now. Only Minhyuk knows how much I’m head over heels over Hyunwoo and it’s a surprise how he hasn’t said anything through all those years knowing how much of a chatter he is. I could tell you all the things I like about Hyunwoo but that would take years for me to finish knowing the adoration I hold for him.

Anyway, I planned to tell him I like him through a letter. Others may think how corny and so outdated a confession letter may seem, but I express myself better with a paper and pen. So, this is how I planned it to go, I would wait till there’s not much people left on the campus, he usually stays and checks the classrooms on the second floor of our building as part of his job as our batch representative and I would make Minhyuk give the letter to him while I hide at the entrance of the building. Minhyuk thinks I’m pathetic for not giving it myself but to be honest I don’t care about his opinion and yes, I bribed him with food.

Minhyuk and I were already in place just waiting for the right moment. “Hoseok are you sure you don’t want to do it yourself? I mean _you_ are the one confessing.” He said rolling his eyes. “I’m positively sure that you should be the one to give him the letter because you’ve interacted more with him than I did.” I told him like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I suddenly saw someone going down the stairs and I just knew it was Hyunwoo. You know, that feeling when you just know he’s there, the one person who makes you wake up in the morning with a smile even if you go to the most horrible place on earth just as long as he’s there too. _That feeling._

I shoved the damn letter in Min’s hands and pushed him towards the staircase. It was now or never. My only chance. I looked at him going up the stairs until he reached Hyunwoo. There was a window near the staircase of the second floor, where I was trying my best to look at what was going on from where I was at the ground looking up at them. I couldn’t really tell what was happening, but I saw Min talking to Hyunwoo for a while and then handing him the letter, or my heart as I’d like to call it. Hyunwoo reached for the letter and I saw him wear a smile for a brief second and then put it in his pocket. Minhyuk turned to go down the building where I giddily waited for him. I was seriously gonna bust a vein from the nervousness I was feeling. I remember when I was a child how I would feel like I was gonna pee any second when I was playing the hide and seek with my brother, it felt kind of the same with how I’m hiding, waiting for Min now.

I snapped out of my trance and realized Minhyuk was there in front of me with a slight confused face. “So? What happened? What did he say?” I asked frantically. “Well…to be very honest, I don’t know what happened,” Minhyuk bewilderedly answered. “I gave him the letter and he reached for it, but he didn’t say anything, he just chuckled and put it in his pocket.” Minhyuk suddenly looked at his watch and said, “Hoseok, I’m so sorry I know this is such a bad timing, but I really have to go. I still have after school lessons.” Min looked at him, pouting. “It’s okay, I’ll just stay here for a bit and make sense of everything.” I chuckled, still confused as hell.

Minhyuk already left as I sat on the swing at the park near the campus, still trying to figure out everything that just happened. I’ve been trying my best to put how I felt on that paper and I didn’t even get much of a reaction. I told Hyunwoo in that letter how I felt when I first saw him in this very park when he first transferred at our school. It was so natural, I saw him walking down the pavement and I just felt my heart race. Every time after that I always see him at school being so nice to everyone whether it’s the school staffs, the teachers, our school mates, and just about anyone else. He wasn’t popular per se, but he had this mysterious yet kind aura around him that pulls people to becoming friends with him. And when he genuinely smiles, I always wish it was me making him smile. I never thought I could be with him, I was just this average and boring guy who didn’t think I was attractive enough for anyone to like me. I was so sure Hyunwoo would never like me. I guess it’s true, based on how he reacted and how I haven’t gotten any response with the letter.

I was so absorbed on my memories that I didn’t notice someone beside me on the swing. I looked up from my trance and immediately regretted it. _He_ was there sitting on the swing beside me. I was freaking the fuck out inside but all I could do was stare at him wide eyed.

“So…you like me huh.” Hyunwoo smirked. _I sighed._

“I think you’re cute.” Hyunwoo twirled my letter in his hands. _I trembled._

“We never really got the chance to talk sincerely.” Hyunwoo stared at me. _I was mesmerized._

The next few seconds looked like everything was happening in slow motion. Hyunwoo opened the letter, “This is really sweet,” He smiled at me again. “But I’ll never fall in love with you,” He put the paper between his fingers, I was looking at it like I was watching a movie, and slowly ripped it in the middle. “You could’ve saved yourself the embarrassment, Hoseok. I’m sorry…kind of. I never really liked you, in fact I kind of hate you. You’re too goody two shoes of a person for me to handle. I like being on the edge, like there’s no tomorrow. You’re probably surprised because you see how I am with other people,” He chuckled. “That was the Hyunwoo I want everyone to see, Hoseok. Don’t be so naïve and think that I can ever like you. I can’t fucking stand you.” He took his bag from the ground and left.

He ripped my letter apart while saying all that. _He ripped my heart out in the process._

I stayed there until it became dark, my tears continuously flowing. Every single tear reminding me how stupid I was to fall in love with someone who looks so perfect but is the exact opposite. I don’t know if I can stop crying. This is my first heartbreak. What do you do when you go through this? I want to scream but I can’t. Am I so stupid to cry over someone like that? Maybe. It won’t stop, the pain. Will it ever stop? I also don’t know. It was starting to rain. _Good, I won’t have to see where my tears start and where the raindrops start. Maybe I’ll get sick and I won’t have to tell Min what happened._

I wait. Wait for the pain to stop. I was there for a long time……

“You had to do it, Hyunwoo,” He mumbled to himself. “You can’t start anything with him. You’re dying, you only have a few months left. This for the better, you did good.” He didn’t feel good. He was trying his best not to show how much his shoulders were shaking from his tears as he walked away from the person he liked the most. He just can’t put Hoseok through that. He deserves someone better. “And that’s not me….it will never be me.” Hyunwoo did his best to take those steps back home.

There was never a chance. There was only a beginning to an end.

**Author's Note:**

> it's my first fic please bear with me. it's also been a long time since i've written. this has some of my true story in it so this fic means a lot because it's my first and i had to relive some memories. i hope you enjoy it even though it may hurt a little. hahaha.


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